Errol Milner Clifford 2006-2009

Errol Milner Clifford was born with a significant heart defect and a cognitive disability that prevented him from walking or talking. As we grieved the child we had anticipated, Errol’s full-bodied smile and irrepressible laugh turned our sorrow into joy, and taught us that many of the best things in life are unexpected. Inspired by Errol’s delightful spirit, friends, family, and neighbors rallied to support our family’s significant emotional, physical, and financial needs, through countless acts of selfless generosity. When Errol’s courageous heart finally failed him on December 23, 2009 we were left numb with grief. In these dark hours we listen hopefully for the echoes of Errol’s brilliant laugh. This blog is the story (starting from present and working back to Errol's birth) of the life and times of the amazing Errol Clifford.


Monday, November 09, 2009

Kindness


Errol has turned many of our expectations of life on their head.
But expectations are ephemeral, always just out ahead of you like the road in the night just beyond your headlights. They can't be counted on.

In other words...As the poet Naomi Shihab Nye put so very beautifully:

Before you know what kindness really is
you must lose things,
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth.


Oh, how Errol has taught us what kindness is!

...Here is the whole poem

Kindness

Before you know what kindness really is
you must lose things,
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth.
What you held in your hand,
what you counted and carefully saved,
all this must go so you know
how desolate the landscape can be
between the regions of kindness.
How you ride and ride
thinking the bus will never stop,
the passengers eating maize and chicken
will stare out the window forever.

Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness,
you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho
lies dead by the side of the road.
You must see how this could be you,
how he too was someone
who journeyed through the night with plans
and the simple breath that kept him alive.

Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.

Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoes
and sends you out into the day to mail letters and
purchase bread,
only kindness that raises its head
from the crowd of the world to say
it is I you have been looking for,
and then goes with you every where
like a shadow or a friend.


Naomi Shihab Nye
from The Words Under the Words: Selected Poems

1 comment:

Marigene said...

Dearest Cary,

It is true. And it is true. It is forever true.

But one does not know this unless one has lost everything or nearly everything. - There is nothing left. - One's anger and rage at injustice and suffering are, in the end, quite pointless. One fights for just so long. And then there is nothing left but kindness.

There is one word which everyone who knew my father would describe him as: Kind. My father was kind. He did not have to suffer to know this truth. It was who he was. It was perhaps his greatest gift.

You bless the world.

Peace, Marigene