Errol Milner Clifford 2006-2009

Errol Milner Clifford was born with a significant heart defect and a cognitive disability that prevented him from walking or talking. As we grieved the child we had anticipated, Errol’s full-bodied smile and irrepressible laugh turned our sorrow into joy, and taught us that many of the best things in life are unexpected. Inspired by Errol’s delightful spirit, friends, family, and neighbors rallied to support our family’s significant emotional, physical, and financial needs, through countless acts of selfless generosity. When Errol’s courageous heart finally failed him on December 23, 2009 we were left numb with grief. In these dark hours we listen hopefully for the echoes of Errol’s brilliant laugh. This blog is the story (starting from present and working back to Errol's birth) of the life and times of the amazing Errol Clifford.


Sunday, October 07, 2007

Anxiety


Errol is undiagnosed. He is no longer our son with Rubinstein-Taybi Syndrome (our apologies to those of you who were so lovely and generous to learn all about the syndrome we thought he had), now he is just Errol. His undiagnosis has erased a year of what we thought we knew about him. For four days now, we’ve been drifting away from knowing Errol through his ex- syndrome towards knowing Errol as he truly is. From prescription to description. All expectations are up in the air, and surprisingly (perhaps naively) we feel good about his RTS ceiling being lifted (although you never know what it will be replaced with). But who ever knows about anything, really?


This is one of my favorite A.R. Ammons poems


Anxiety


The sparrowhawk
flies hard to

stand in the
air: something

about direction
lets us loose

into ease and slow grace




You might think our direction is gone now that we don't know Errol's diagnosis, but instead we has been given direction as we dissolve into the grace of knowing Errol as he is now.

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